What started as a sniffle turned into a roaring cough, and me being the proactive/paranoid sort, charged along to the Paediatrician.
Mother: “Nurse – I need an immediate appointment – IMMEDIATELY!!!”
Nurse: “What’s wrong?”
Mother: “It’s his chest – and he’s six months!!”
You see I’ve learned that if you downplay your baby’s illness to the Almighty Nurse, you will NEVER get an appointment. She’ll do her best to stand in your way! She’ll stick you at the bottom of the waiting list, prescribe herbal meds to you over the phone...anything to stop you from seeing the doctor!
BUT...
one of them slipped up a few months ago when I demanded an appointment.
I made the mistake of saying, “I don’t think he’s too bad, just a runny nose.”
And not getting my desired reaction, being met with silence on the other end of the line, I added
“I just don’t know, perhaps it’s his chest?”
BINGO!
Without thinking, she let out the cardinal secret – “You can’t leave a chest infection, if you suspect it’s his chest, then you better bring him in!”
ACCESS GRANTED!!
So you see, now no matter what is wrong with Baby, I slot in the “I think it’s his chest” and I throw in his age and all of a sudden, the doctor is able to see me within the next few hours!
MAGIC!!!
So having been to the doctor and armed with, “Don’t worry, it’s viral, he’ll be fine – just ride it out”... (this by the way is the worst advice to give a sleep deprived mother), I left her office rejected.
Riding it out began around 19h00.
He ate, he bathed, he went to sleep....
Mother was suspicious – is this too good to be true?
The answer as always is...YES!
22h00: I lay my head on the pillow, waiting in anticipation...
23h00: Nothing – more waiting
00h00: Silence – maybe he’s fine?
01h00: Aahhh, the sweet release of sleep!
02h00: ^%$#@! &^$#$
What...wha....Husband shoves wife out of bed...Go!!!
I knew it!
Off I trode to the room – how cruel!
Mother: “What’s wrong?”
Baby: “AAAAHHH” roughly translated: I’m not really sure...perhaps it’s my chest?
I tried everything...
02h05: Telament Drops for Cramp,
02h15: Calpol for Fever and Pain,
02h30: Warm water for thirst
02h45: Sugar Water for constipation
02h50: Hymns for GOD’s help
03h00: Rocking
03h10: Milk for hunger
03h30: Swearing
03h40: Mother raised baby above her head and in a tone of exasperation shouted:
“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME HUH??? WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!!”
Of course at this exact minute, Husband decided to walk in to the room to check on his beloved wife and child.
Husband: “What are you doing? He’ll never settle if you shout and shake him! Are you crazy”
Mother: “YES...I’m a crazy person, I admit it, Divorce me and take full custody!!”
Husband: “What am I supposed to do?
Mother: “It’s viral...ride it out!”
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