Do you really know the difference....really?

I am a fully qualified chartered accountant. I have consolidated sets of financials that would confuse Confucious. I have delved into the horrendous depths of IFRS and The Income Tax Act...and to be honest, I really think that I am capable of deriving logical conclusions from a standard set of facts... after all this is what I am trained to do...

So why is it that I am completely unable to decipher the difference between Pampers and Huggies,
Nuk, Avent, Pigeon and Dr Browns,
Nan 1 and S26 Gold?

What am I missing about "baby life" that has caused me to stare at these products in the BABY CITY aisle as if they were coded in a foreign language?

Don't even bother asking around... you're guaranteed to get conflicting answers from the "know it all" moms.

Question: "Know it all" - What nappies do I use?

Answer:

Pampers are excellent on Newborns, then they tend to leak when your baby is about 3 months (mine never did because my baby's nappy has never leaked - I always change in time) but if this is so, switch over to Huggies No 2's for about 6 months, then if its a girl, switch back to pampers until you are about to potty train at which point you revert to Huggies Pull-Ups.. that is of course unless you want to use Dischem's Cuddlers?

WHAT?? Are you serious? How does this chick know all of this? Did I miss a hormone in pregnancy that gives you this divine understanding?

My first time at Baby City was totally overwhelming.. I stood in front of the bottle aisle feeling like a failure weighing up my options.

First choice...Glass or Plastic.. Ummmm... Plastic I guess, I'm a bit of a clutz so glass could be quite dangerous? (I think).

So..ok...pick a brand...

Well I don't want Pigeon (only because it makes me think of Pigeons. Pigeons are dirty - I have no other reason, let alone a logical one).

I don't want Dr Browns (because the name makes me think that only sick kids would drink out of that bottle).

Now... AVENT or NUK...

Shit... I'm out of eliminations, so I do the logical accounting thing.. Pro's and Cons.

NUK is German... Home of Mercedes Benz, VW, Michael Schumacher.. I would imagine they would make these bottles the same way they make a BMW..Sheer Precision!

Avent.. well I don't know who makes AVENT...ok...

DECISION MADE... NUK!

Now, Wide Neck or Slim Neck, Small, Medium or Large Hole, Silicon or Latex... MAKE IT STOP!!!???

Are you actually kidding me... its like a test with never-ending questions...

As soon as you make a decision, somebody jumps out from behind the wall saying... "AHA... you are not finished yet... you don't really have a clue and I'll prove it to you...BAD MOTHER... BAD EARTH MOTHER!!".

Then.. you'll get home, 8 NUK WIDE NECK ANTI COLIC Bottles with 6 sets of small, medium and large holes in a variety of silicon and latex teats.. and you'll read an article with the headline...

IS YOUR BOTTLE BPA FREE? - BPA IS A DANGER TO YOUR BABY

And your luck... you've just spent R800 on bottles and your bottles are not BPA Free...

The point of this blog is, you'll never get it right... you'll buy NUK and then to your horror your baby will end up being a PIGEON CEREAL TEAT drinker (and you will be haunted by images of Pigeons every time you sterilise or feed).

So, taking the risk of being classified as a "know it all" mother.. I'm prepared to let you in on the final decision I made..

it was actually quite simple, fail proof and is fully in line with my accounting tendencies....

I methodically removed all the choices!

PICK THE MOST EXPENSIVE PRODUCT AND BUY LOTS OF IT!!

That way, you'll probably get the best product (quality and price often are directly related)...

And if you don't... you'll force yourself to keep it because you've spent so much money anyway, you can't afford to change!

It's as simple as that...

Much Love

Gen x