Pregnancy Madness - An explanation for Husbands

Twas around about Easter
And all through the house
A creature was stirring
It wasn't a mouse

It wasn't the Easter Bunny
It had a hairy leg
It really meant business
For her Easter Egg

Before she knew it
She was sniffing like mad
She could smell everything
Somethings good, somethings bad

Pimples exploded
All over her face
They kept coming and going
At a furious pace

She was rude, she was ratty
She was quite a mean cow
She wouldn't stop eating
She didn't know how

She was spending the cash
Like a billionaire
She couldn't stop buying
She didn't come up for air

Dinners comprised
Bar-Ones and Cheese
She was horrid, she was wicked
She never said please

For nine months she punished
Everyone in her sight
She never took a break
Not even at night

And then all of a sudden
The baby was here
What a joy, what a miracle
There was lots of cheer

And just as Husband thought
Of his sentence, he was free
Her milk arrived
As it does on day three

And the tears overflowed
And the panic set in
And the hormones left her
In an absolute spin

The moral of this story
is actually quite simple
Be very afraid
when she sprouts her first pimple

If you think she'll return
to her normal sane self
Think again,
realise that "the old her" will remain on the shelf

She's been replaced by a loony
a hormonal nightmare
And she'll behave like a Banshee
She really won't care

So take comfort in knowing
It's not you who is batty
She's gone off her rocker
She's not naturally ratty

It's the reason why women
live longer than men
What else can I say other than
Good Luck, God bless and Amen

Gen x